8 Reasons I Stopped Reading Your Damn Book

I used to try to finish books, no matter what. Dune cured me of that. And Wheel of Time is definitely under #4 – The Long Con.

Bare Knuckle Writer

IMG_1415 #9: No T-Rex Skulls. (Image by Steph Snow)

1. The Snake Mittens. A book I tried reading recently–which seemed perfect for me–got the axe because the main character failed to notice three important things in the first ten pages, all because he was too busy wondering how he looked in his new hat. You don’t deserve to survive to the end of the story. You are dumber than snake mittens. Next.

2. The Failure To Launch. Nothing’s happening. And I don’t mean the artistic nothing, where you can get alongside it because it’s exploring character*. I mean nothing nothing. You might have some good characters or an interesting setting or a cool idea, but, goddamn, move it along a little. I’m too busy to hang around while an author masturbates all over a page and calls it art.

3. The Frankly Scarlett**. When you just don’t give two sacks…

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I am an artist, accountant and author living in western New York, transplanted from Denmark, Michigan, Florida, West Virginia, Pennsylvania (in that order!) I love the beauty of the world and sharing it with others through jewelry, photography, digital painting and writing.

Posted in Travel

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